my boring day

sukanya dengar lecture miss hazla tadi. english slang british you. i pun nak lah. even though type-type kat sini tak dengar pun british slang nye.

today i don't feel like i used to feel, which is 'not enthusiastic to live another day of my life here'. today i don't really feel enthusiastic, but i'm not feeling down to the ground, to say the least. today is friday, which makes it approximately a week away from the Raya Holiday!

the other day when there was a lecture with Mr Halim, when the lecture ended, Mr Halim decided to hang around, giving us some thoughts and pearls of words (?). with all those mumbling (because he spoke too softly i could barely hear him, not because he spoke rubbish), i caught something.

"when people ask, do you love to read books? and they will answer : YES. oh, good, good. it's good to read books. but wait, what KIND of books? haa you see? it's not really lying, but people always assume that 'like to read books' is good, but it all depends on the kind of books you read."

ouch. right at my face. currently i'm reading "she's come undone" by Wally Lamb. such a terrible pen name.

but, is it THAT wrong to read storybooks? come on, it's not that bad, is it? there is one excuse i can give for reading storybooks, instead of medical books:

i want to improve my english.

but that would be partially lying. because, my initial intention would be to improve my english, but books after books, i'm just enjoying myself. the intention, i don't know where it's gone. a lot of times i found the words that i don't understand. but i seldom check the meanings out. so, reading storybooks now is just for the sake of my pleasure.

it seems like i'm in the good mood here, right? well, before this (for like about 4 hours ago), i was not. but because i'm in such a good mood now, i won't bitch about other people. but i will articulate what i felt 4 hours ago, minus the bitching part:

you and your promises. go fuck off. (this i grabbed from the book i'm reading now. but the real words are: you promised me a lot of things. you ruined my life. or something like that.) i feel left out already. suddenly there came all the offers from people around me to mingle together. then suddenly when i approach for them, they shut me out. but i'm not that hurt. the pain score would be like, 2/10 only. so don't worry. i can survive. i'm going alone. you happy? wait, i can't be bothered whether you're happy or not. see? told ya i can survive.