housemate

apa dah jadi dgn blog ni? lama dah tak update lain pulak rupanya.

dengarlah cerita aku ini. rumah aku ni ada 2 orang baru masuk. 3rd year. sorang tu ok. sorang lagi sombong gilaaaaa. aku ni tak lah seniority sangat kan. tapi entah kenapa aku bengang sangat dgn budak sombong ni. tak pernahnya nak tegur aku. ok fine. i made a decision to ignore her. tapi tak boleh jugak. tiap kali terserempak dgn dia dan muka sombong dia, meluap2 hati aku ni. rasa nak terjah / cekik je budak ni. tetapi,

pada suatu malam, aku tertidur tatkala membaca satu buku novel yang teramat bosan. aku set alarm lagi 20 minit so that aku tak la terbongkang sampai ke pagi dgn lampu terbukak. tapi, as usual, aku snooze sampai sejam lebih nak dekat 2 jam. tiba-tiba ada beberapa ketukan di pintu aku. aku sangat terkejut! yelah, aku kalau orang kejut tidur kuat2 ni memang cepat melatah la kononnya. 

rupa2nya, 2 orang budak baru 3rd year tadi yang mengetuk dgn kuatnya pintu bilik aku. dgn mamainya, budak A (tak sombong) cakap, 

"hai kak farah. eh dah tido ke?"

"eh tak la." ok aku tipu harharhar.

"ha ni la budak B (sombong). mari berkenalan dgn rasminya."

budak tu pun hulurkan tangan dan senyuman yg mungkin bagi dia agak manis. tapi bagi aku, er. wtv lah. hoi dah seminggu dok sini baru ko nak berkenalan?!

"hai." kataku. aku ni pandai la buat poker face. mulut manis dalam hati caci maki.

"err kak farah ke yang kemas toilet pagi tadi? sbb nampak bersih gila."

oh stop it, you. harharhar. sebenarnya for a full 1 minute aku tak paham ape bende budak2 ni cakap. tahap kemamaian aku agak melampau kalau terkejut2 bangun tidur ni. haah laa. pagi tadi lah aku menyental2 sinki tu. dan buang segala toiletries yang senior dulu sedap2 je nak tinggalkan.

"yang atas peti ais ni pun kak farah jugak ke yang kemaskan?"

oh yes! aku! semua aku! aku lah yg paling pembersih di muka bumi ini. 

"yang tepi2 ni pun boleh buang ke?"

oh baru aku perasan. tepi peti ais tu banyak lagi laa bro. dgn kotak2 nye. megi2 nye. ok lah aku ni takde lah pembersih sgt, fine.

"ha nak kemas boleh jugak. takde sape punye ni." kataku.

"oh ok. yang toilet tu, kitorg nak kemas dulu, tapi takut ada orang punya la pulak kan. so xkemas la." kata mereka.

"oh ok ok. aku kemas yang kat atas tu je. lantai belum lagi. aku igt nak basuh lantai lain kali la. nak suruh korang, kang korang cakap aku buli korang pulak kan." kataku.

"eh takde lahh. boleh je nak kemas. tapi bukan harini la herherher."

"er, herherher jugak." time ni kemamaian semakin pudar. budak2 ni konon nak mesra2 alam lah gelak2 dgn aku. tapi aku masih terasa awkward hahah.


ok lah. so pangkal pokoknya di sini, kesabaran aku berbaloi. daripada aku marah si budak B ni sebab menyombong dengan aku, baik lah aku diam aje. tengok sekarang, dia dah tegur. 

so happy oh

I

PASS

MY

EXAMS!!

ok ortho and paeds only. psy and triad not yet lah. but i'm so happy lah kan.

yeay :)

yeay yeay yeay yeay yeay yeay kfc here i come

soalan bodoh.

macam mana ni? macam mana nak jadi doctor ni? malas sangat ni. malas belajar, malas cover bed, malas buat homework. mana boleh malas lah. adoi.

hari ni birthday aku!!

hari ni aku dah marah orang. oh god. ok la macam ni ceritanya.

ada sorang kawan aku ni. dia sangat pandai. so aku banyak la tanya-tanya dia soalan-soalan. walaupun soalan tu bodoh. tapi kan, aku tak tau pun soalan tu bodoh. ye lah kan, aku kan tak pandai. jadi aku tak tau la soalan tu bodoh untuk dia. hari ni, bila aku tanya,

"eh, external fixation tu kan pakai local anesthesia (LA). habis kalau dah lepas tu, patient sakit tak?"

dia pun dah start buat muka 'you-ask-this-stupid-question?-unbelievable" dan start cakap,

"imagine if i give you LA kan, and..."

"alah dia ni suka perli-perli tau. jawab je lah soalan."

haa lepas tu semua orang macam,

"whooaaaa ada orang marah"

then diorang macam nak cheer things up, diorg cakap la, 

"alah takpe, birthday girl kan. biarlah dia nak cakap apa."

tapi sebenarnya, aku tak rasa pun macam birthday aku harini. and aku tak main lepas cakap je sebab harini birthday aku. aku dah lama dah nak cakap camtu kat  budak ni. budak ni membuatkan aku malas dah nak tanya dia apa-apa lagi. buat aku nak usaha sendiri lah cari jawapan. tak payah tanya dia. sebab everytime aku tanya dia, aku rasa macam orang paling bodoh sekali di dunia.

then dia jawab,

"ok lah, jawab soalan. patient akan rasa sakit. haritu i ada tanya patient."

oh, so you ada la tanya soalan bodoh kat patient? i see..

"ok thanks for the answer."

oh and then aku rasa dia nak pujuk aku kot.

"sorry ah, birthday girl.." something something other things he said i cant remember now.

oh aku bukan mintak dipujuk pun. kalau zhafran buat aku marah pun aku tak mintak dipujuk. inikan pula entah sapa-sapa. aku rasa budak ni, jarang la orang marah dia cmtu. dia kan pandai. sapa berani marah?

sebenarnya, setiap orang itu lain-lain. kadang-kadang, ok lah jugak kalau nak jawab soalan tu perli-perli so kita akan ingat jawapan tu sampai bila-bila. tapi kalau dah everytime macam tu, hmm. memang melenting lah aku kan. takpe. think positive. aku menyuarakan untuk orang yg selalu terkena dgn budak ni. hahahahahaa. ntah-ntah aku je yg rasa camtu. dah la. lepas ni you jangan risau tau. i takkan tanya you soalan bodoh lagi. maybe i takkan tanya you apa-apa soalan pun. sampai bila-bila! 

oh so emo.

too disappointed to even care~

yey hari jumaat balik! ok sepatutnya plan aku hari khamis nak balik. tapi ada sorang doktor psycho yg sangat concern pasal murid-muridnya, jadi dia dah cakap,

"i expect to see my students, in my Spine team, to be present in Friday morning ward round."

at that time i was thinking of any excuse. 

MC?

oh dia siap clarify maksud MC (medical certificate) lagi. the head of department (aku rasa bukan dia head of dept, tapi sbb ceritanya mungkin dia yg akan terima surat MC dari student, so dia nak cakap la apa yg dia akan buat dgn surat MC tu) has the right to question the MC letter. if you're very very sick, how come you're not admitted? (seriously? you want us to at least have one fractured leg than only we can go home?) emergency leave is only when disaster happens. death, natural disasters. you cannot use the natural disaster that happens in US as your excuse in your leave, and death of animal pets are not accepted as an excuse also.

and i was thinking,

maybe he won't even realize i'm not in the ward round. too many people following him during the round. i might be clouded by my shyness and dumbness.

then suddenly,

"i may not remember your names, but i do remember faces. so don't even think of asking your friends to be the replacement. how many of you in my Spine team? 6?"

dangg. then when he was saying all this shit stuff, i was looking at him. and oh, seriously? it was like, directed especially at me! so i smiled my stupid smile to him. and he said,

"apa senyum-senyum? you have any plan on going back on Thursday, is it? what, tiket nak balik kampung dah takda yg lain ke?"

and i was like,

"whaaa-? noo noo"

this is really happening. i can't believe it.

"really? because i saw you cuit-cuit kawan sebelah tu,"

and everybody was laughing. my God. is he psychic or something. scary.

so, here i am. counting days. hours. minutes. to go back home. nak basuh baju, tapi asyik hujan je. taknak bawak banyak-banyak barang balik rumah. but terpaksalah gamaknya.

zhafran ajak tengok Final Destination 5 esok. c'mon. really? bosan je. FD4 pun bosan. nanti dia mesti ada cut the gruesome scenes. then what for you watch it, right? you pay for the disgusting part. wasting your money lah. don't, don't watch it. let's go to KFC and have cheesy wedges instead.

so i'll have 2 sahurs and 1 more buka puasa here. fun way of counting.

my boring day

sukanya dengar lecture miss hazla tadi. english slang british you. i pun nak lah. even though type-type kat sini tak dengar pun british slang nye.

today i don't feel like i used to feel, which is 'not enthusiastic to live another day of my life here'. today i don't really feel enthusiastic, but i'm not feeling down to the ground, to say the least. today is friday, which makes it approximately a week away from the Raya Holiday!

the other day when there was a lecture with Mr Halim, when the lecture ended, Mr Halim decided to hang around, giving us some thoughts and pearls of words (?). with all those mumbling (because he spoke too softly i could barely hear him, not because he spoke rubbish), i caught something.

"when people ask, do you love to read books? and they will answer : YES. oh, good, good. it's good to read books. but wait, what KIND of books? haa you see? it's not really lying, but people always assume that 'like to read books' is good, but it all depends on the kind of books you read."

ouch. right at my face. currently i'm reading "she's come undone" by Wally Lamb. such a terrible pen name.

but, is it THAT wrong to read storybooks? come on, it's not that bad, is it? there is one excuse i can give for reading storybooks, instead of medical books:

i want to improve my english.

but that would be partially lying. because, my initial intention would be to improve my english, but books after books, i'm just enjoying myself. the intention, i don't know where it's gone. a lot of times i found the words that i don't understand. but i seldom check the meanings out. so, reading storybooks now is just for the sake of my pleasure.

it seems like i'm in the good mood here, right? well, before this (for like about 4 hours ago), i was not. but because i'm in such a good mood now, i won't bitch about other people. but i will articulate what i felt 4 hours ago, minus the bitching part:

you and your promises. go fuck off. (this i grabbed from the book i'm reading now. but the real words are: you promised me a lot of things. you ruined my life. or something like that.) i feel left out already. suddenly there came all the offers from people around me to mingle together. then suddenly when i approach for them, they shut me out. but i'm not that hurt. the pain score would be like, 2/10 only. so don't worry. i can survive. i'm going alone. you happy? wait, i can't be bothered whether you're happy or not. see? told ya i can survive.

pagi-pagi dah politik

pagi-pagi bangun pagi, dah tak semangat. pagi-pagi bangun pagi, mandi, tidur balik. baju pun tak iron. alah, pakai white coat kan? kenapa la selama ni aku rajin sangat nak iron. pagi-pagi bangun pagi, fikir,

"kenapa la bukan minggu ni yg balik rumah? kenapa minggu depan?"

pagi-pagi pergi ward, bukannya ada ward round pun pukul 7.30pagi. tunggu-tunggu, pukul 8.30pagi baru start. buat apa aku datang pagi-pagi sangat? pagi-pagi dah pergi OT nak tengok surgery. masuk dalam OT, kena halau. tunggu kat luar, kena halau jugak. doktor-doktor dan para surgeons sekalian, kami bukan saja-saja nak menyemak kat OT meng increase kan risk of infection kat patients. kami juga bukan nak termangu-mangu kesejukan dengan pakaian OT di belakang pintu OT itu. kami kena observe at least 8 orthopaedic surgeries seperti yg terpampang di dalam logbook kami. tak sangka pulak bilateral total knee replacement (TKR) mengambil masa lebih dari 4 jam ye. sungguh la penat berdiri ye boleh dapat lordosis (bontot tonggek), varicose vein (urat timbul-timbul kat kaki), dan depression (extreme boredom).

nasib baik khoo hau wei baik sangat borak-borak pasal politik. politik pasal BERSIH, Najib dan bininya, mahathir, Anwar dan bininya, Nik Aziz, parlimen, ekonomi, politik di China, Pak Lah dan menantunya. selain itu, terdapat juga perbualan pasal karier seorang doktor, kenapa anda memilih karier doktor (ada org jawab "sebab saya NAK jadi politician"), dan menteri kesihatan yg tidak memiliki title Dr pun. lagi cerita pasal kawan-kawan kami yg pandai-pandai, yg ambil STPM, yg top 6 STPM in the country (Pei Sun), yg band 6 MUET, yg nerd sangat-sangat (Chan Kok Joo).

khoo hau wei menyatakan kekesalannya memilih bidang perubatan. apabila ditanya,

"kalau tak ambil medicine, ambil apa?" beliau menjawab,

"medicine jugak."

shashida bertanya,

"cuba teka. dalam banyak-banyak menteri, menteri apa yg masih berumah kayu/papan?"

"huh, papan?"

"yelah, ada la batu-batu sikit kot rumah dia"

"tak tau la. sapa?"

"nik aziz."

"oh, tapi bukan dia ada kereta mercedes ke?"

"tu tak tau la. tapi rumah dia rumah kayu. dari dulu sampai sekarang."

"oh rumah buruk takpe. jangan kereta buruk."

er. aku tak tau pun nik aziz tu menteri? aku tak suka politik pun. tapi disebabkan ada khoo hau wei yg telah menjelaskan beberapa perkara dengan ayat-ayat dan perkataan yg mudah-mudah, jadi aku pun faham lah sikit-sikit.

quiz + cwu

dah lama tak berkuiz2 ni

rase macam kat skolah pulak ye.

kuiz radiology plak tu.

ntah ape la yg die nak tanya.

pasrah?

mana boleh pasrah.

usaha belum lagi pun.

baca pun tak.

berblogging je.

kuiz ni masuk markah exam ke ha?

itu ialah soalan

yg sering diajukan

oleh orang2 yg malas.

a.k.a : me

oh oh

i finished my case write up.

if u don't know,

now i tell u.

the feeling of finishing a cwu

is a feeling that

hmm.

u feel there's a garden inside ur heart

(dalam hati ada taman)

with birds

without birds poop.

berbalik kepada kuiz.

saya malas nak baca snanye.

nnt lah

bedtime story ok?

tau takk?!

harini ada cite hantu.

takut gilak.

extreme jugak dengar2 nye.

takyah la cite.

da malam.

contact dermatitis

semalam kan,

no no.

bila ntah.

aku pergi la jusco.

nak beli barang.

singgah la guardian.

ingat nak beli cotton pad je.

tapi ternampak lah segala bagai lotion.

pastu teringat la kat sorg kawan aku yg cantik ni.

dia suka jaga kulit.

aku?

pfft.

so aku pon konon nak jadi macam dia la.

nak lah putih sikiiiit.

jadi aku pon beli

GARNIER BODY

LIGHT

WHITENING MOISTURIZING MILK LOTION

rupe2nye

ade kat bawah tu

keciiiik je

die tulis,

UVA/UVB filters.

which aku tak nampak.

dgn semangatnye aku pun pakai malam tu.

dan esok harinye.

dan malam kepada esok harinye.

dan aku pun kena lah gatal2.

tulah contact dermatitis.

dgn rajinnye,

aku pun pegi senaraikan ingredients GARNIER dlm satu kertas,

dan ingredients krim lain dalam kertas yg sama.

krim lain itu ialah

FAIR & LOVELY,

dan VANICREAM sejenis sunscreen.

(F&L dgn VANICREAM tu aku tak allergic)

so dah ada bahan2nye,

aku pon cross out la mane yg aku tak allergic

(rajin gila kan? ingredients satu krim ada la nak dekat 40)

lepas cross out, ada la dekat 7-8 bahan

yg berpotensi buat aku allergic.

aku tau aku allergic to certain sunscreen ni

mase form 5.

gune BANANA BOAT.

so aku pun google la si banana boat ni.

and again,

cross out event dijalankan.

tapi masalahnye,

die tak match langsung dgn si GARNIER ni.

yg aku dah cross out b4, tetiba ada kat BANANA.

so aku agak pelik lah ye.

so aku pun tak tau senanye.

tapi ada la beberapa yg aku igt boleh pakai:

1. Geraniol (perfume)

2. benzyl salicylate (or any salicylic acid)

3. octocrylene

'boleh pakai' means,

berpotensi buat aku allergic.

coryza

inilah yg aku bengang.

satu hari, semua benda tak jadi.

lagi-lagi, rasa tak deserve pun kena camni.

(mcm pantun pulak.)

tapi hari ni,

aku dah marah ramai orang.

termasuklah diri sendiri.

(omg still terasa mcm pantun.)

tadi rasa mcm nak mencarut2 je dalam blog ni

tp bila dah type2,

cool pulak tiba2.

entah kenapa.

bangunan HUKM ni mcm tahi.

(dah tak cool dah)

hanya sesuai buat tempat bertanding cari harta karun.

lif dia pun mcm tahi jugak.

bila aku marah,

semua benda jadi tahi.

tak sangka aku boleh marah kat sebuah bangunan.

sebuah bangunan berbentuk tahi.

BERSIH ni,

patut tukar jadi KOTOR (mcm tahi)

BERSIH telah membuat plan aku semua hancur.

siap buat misunderstanding

antara aku dgn bapak aku.

how sad.

aku just nak antihistamine yg power

dan ubat tu hanya boleh dapat

with a doc's prescription.

salah ke kalau aku nak cepat sihat?

klinik warga yg menyampah,.

kalau org tak ingat RN number,

kau biar je ke org tu mati?

RN number bukanlah sesuatu

yg membanggakan,

yg membuat aku mengahafal number tersebut.

nampaknya, sistem komputer yg kononnya canggih tu,

telah rosak 

atau tak boleh jalan,

atau whatever the fuck

like i fucking care

about your fucking computer system

that now makes me fucking sick

and i can't have the fucking meds i want,

and now i'll stay fucking sick.

i can't get the fuck out,

because of the fucking BERSIH.

so i can't go to the other fucking clinics

to get the fucking meds i want.

un-fucking-believable.