ni ialah satu buku cerita. sangat lah kelakar. aku sarankan semua org baca buku ni. sebenarnya ada lagi satu buku before this one. tak tau la ada berapa total. buku ni sekarang aku tgh baca tak habis lagi. the other buku is The Spellmans Files. kot. tak sure lah apa betul ke tak tu.
cerita ni pasal a dysfunctional family yg sangat kelakar. got mom (olivia), dad (albert), and 3 children (David, Isabel, and Rae). all of them are PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS except for david, a lawyer. mai sini aku amik a few excerpts yg aku suka:
while Isabel was looking at Rae, Rae immediately knew that Isabel wanted her to go steal the Subject's (person they're investigating on) trash (literally, trash. the one you put in the trash bin). because there's a lot you can find about a person by looking at their trash. below was how the deal between them went (isabel's paying rae to go through Subject's trash). oh, isabel's 30 years old, and rae's 15 going-on-16.
Isabel (I) : five dollars.
Rae (R) : twenty.
I : ten.
R : twenty-five.
I : fifteen.
R : thirty.
I : you're supposed to go down, not up.
R : there are no rules.
I : ten.
R : thirty-five.
I : okay fine. twenty.
rae took the money and headed for the door. in their family, if one loses a negotiation, they like to pretend that they have won.
I : i would have given you thirty.
R : i would have done it for five.
isabel likes to take notes. she has a list of ex-boyfriends. the list is in the appendix site of the book.
ex-bf #1
name: goldstein, max
age: 14
occupation: 9th grader, presidio middle school
hobby: skateboarding
duration: 1 month
last words: "dude, my mom doesn't want me hanging out with you anymore"
ex-bf #2
name: slater, henry
age: 18
occupation: freshman, UC berkeley
hobby: poetry
duration: 7 months
last words: "you've never heard of Robert Pinsky?"
ex-bf #3
name: flannagan, sean
age: 23
occupation: bartender
hobbies: being irish, drinking
duration: 2.5 months
last words: "order dan Guinness, we don' haf much in common."
ex-bf #4
name: collier, professor michael
age: 47 (her: 21)
occupation: professor of philosophy
hobby: sleeping with students
duration: 1 semester
last words: "this is wrong. i need to stop doing this."
ex-bf #5
name: fuller, joshua
age: 25
hobby: alcoholics anonymous
duration: 3 months
last words: "our relationship is a threat to my sobriety."
ex-bf #6
name: ryan, sean
age: 29
occupation: bartender
hobbies: porn, aspiring novelist
duration: 2 months
last words: "i don't think we have enough in common" (uttered by her)
ex-bf #7
name: greenberg, zack
age: 29
occupation: owner of web design firm
hobby: soccer
duration: 1.5 months
last words: "you ran a credit check on my brother?"
ex-bf #8
name: martin, greg
age: 29
occupation: graphic designer
hobby: triathlons
duration: 4 months
last words: "if i have to answer one more fucking question, i'm going to kill myself."
ex-bf #9
name: castillo, daniel
age: 38
occupation: dentist
hobby: tennis
duration: 3 months
last words: "it was over after the fake drug deal."
ex-bf #10
name: larson, greg
age: 38
occupation: sheriff
hobby: never found one
duration: 6 weeks
last word: "nope."
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