motif?

jahat tak, jahat tak. saya tak pakai tudung. saya pakai masa pergi kelas je. keluar jalan-jalan saya tak pakai.

jadinya, saya tak layak nak kutuk orang yang pakai tudung. kutuk pasai tudung dia la kan.

tapi tapi. saya bukannya nak kutuk pun.. saya nak cakap je? meluahkan? memberi pendapat?

ada la sorang kawan saya ni. dia pakai tudung. dia cantik tau. caaaantiiiik sangaaaat. (betul, bukan nada perli). muka melayu ke? er. orang kalau 1st glance kat dia memang cakap muka melayu la. hidung taklah mancung sangat, tapi mancung juga lah kalau nak compare dengan majority perempuan melayu pure kat malaysia ni. bagi saya, semua pasal dia sederhana gitu. tapi memang cantik la. mata ok. hidung ok. mulut ok. muka mmg ok lah. badan ok. tak tinggi sangat tak pendek sangat. dia suka fashion. tapi taklah melampau-lampau sangat bling-bling lip-lap lip-lap. once in a while, dia akan pakai la tudung belit-belit ala hana tajima tu. yg kembang-kembang kat tepi tu. once in a while dia akan pakai la blouse / dress + jeans + belt + tudung belit-belit. (ok aku tak kutuk tudung belit-belit. for me, yg tak cantik pun boleh nampak cantik bila pakai tudung camni). once in a while dia akan pakai make-up agak tebal but still cantik la. tapi hari-hari dia just pakai foundation and eyeliner sikit je. kadang-kadang tak pakai make-up pun pergi kelas. cantik je.

apalah motif aku ni kan.

camni. aku ada sorg friend di facebook. sekadar friend di facebook ye. dunia realiti, ada la tak sampai 10 patah perkataan aku pernah cakap dgn dia. dia pakai tudung. tapi, dia pakai tudung belit-belit. ok lagi. dia pakai tudung belit-belit hari-hari..

sukahati dia la kan? apa aku sebok? tu la dia. mmg aku ni penyebok.

cuba fikir. kalau belit-belit kat leher, camne nak pakai stethoscope? camne nak pakai mask yg ikat 2 kali kat belakang kepala tu? habis la kembang-kembang tepi tudung hana tajima tu kan? aku pun tak tau la camne dia pakai. sukahati dia la.

berbalik kepada kawan aku yg aku puji-puji tinggi menggunung tu. dia ni sangat jujur orangnya. dia jarang cakap seseorang itu cantik. macam apa lah ayat aku tu kan. tapi betul. kalau tanya,

"weh ko rasa si hana-tajima-wannabe tu cantik tak?"

dia akan jawab, 

"takde lah. biasa je. make-up tebal."

aku bukan la nak kata dia ni penyombong, perasan cantik apa semua. tak. dia tak pernah pun cakap dia cantik. (dia da tau da dia cantik sebab memang ramai yg cakap pun especially lelaki-lelaki gatal n desperate yg terkinja-kinja bila nampak kawan aku ni). di sini, sebab dia kawan baik aku, jadi aku rasa dia just being honest. tu jee. aku rasa, kalau dgn entah sapa-sapa dia tak berapa kenal sangat, dia akan jawab,

"oh, boleh tahan. cantik jugak dia tu."

seriously, apa motif aku ni?

before aku cakap motif aku, ada lagi aku nak merepek ni. yang aku tau, cukur bulu kening tu haram. (begitu juga tak pakai tudung). jadi, bila aku tengok orang yg pakai tudung, tapi cukur bulu kening ni, aku macam, pelik lah kan. orang selalu cakap yg tak pakai tudung tu jahat (ok this statement is so outdated, sbb dah ramai yg cakap,

apa ingat semua orang pakai tudung tu baik? semua orang tak pakai tudung tu jahat?

ni dah biasa la ni semua. aku bukan nak defend diri aku yg tak pakai tudung ni. aku juga bukanlah nak marah-marah orang yg pakai tudung tapi cukur bulu kening ni. aku tau, aku tak layak nak cakap benda ni. tu sebab aku cakap aku nak merepek je ni. wait, apa kena mengena dengan tudung belit-belit?

what i love (and don't love) about movies

what do you mean by 'favourite' movies? you mean, you 'like' it, right? but, ok. let's take one movie for example. what movie? ok whatever lah. i just want a movie. do you like the ENTIRE movie, to make that movie your all-time favourite? i mean, the whole thing. from the beginning, the middle, and the end. do you like ALL of it?

take Hancock. nice movie. i love Will Smith. and Charlize Theron. she's super hot. but, i only like the beginning of the movie. when it comes to charlize showing her 'real' self, that is, being a superhero too, it's kind of boring me out. i don't know. i think i just want to see ONE superhero in a superhero movie, that's all.

ha part ni la yg tak suka dah. time charlize nak jadi heroin, dia punya eye shadow pun tiba-tiba jadi gelap?

take Law Abiding Citizen. oh i just love Gerard Butler cause he's so f-ing hot, so i don't really care about the movie, i just want to watch him. that's why even The Bounty Hunter i was willing to watch. what a terrible movie. ok back to Law Abiding Citizen. i REALLY like the beginning, until three-quarter of the movie. to be precise, until i know what actually his strategy was. his strategy of killing people even though still locked up in the jail. it's because he has every solitary cells tunelled out from there! what a cliche. i don't really know what i expect from the movie. i just want them to surprise me.

my, my. why don't you just look at that... grumpy old policeman on his left.

take Hanna. i like Saoirse Ronan (ridiculous name, until now i don't know how to pronounce it correctly). she's reeeeeeaaly beautiful. that blue eyes..(wait, is it green? wtv.) she looks European. she's marvelous in Atonement and another movie about being raped/molested and killed, and her spirit / soul is wondering around, because of the unfinished business. i forgot the title of the movie. and there's Eric Bana in that movie Hanna. the trailer, whoaa. i was determined to watch it after watching the trailer. but once i watched it, meh. this, so-called a kid, growing up being trained her whole life to be an assassin, being tough, being not familiar at all with the normal world, can only work if:

a) the fight / killing-spree / car-race / explosion scene is TOTALLY awsome; OR

b) it's a comedy movie.

seriously. like all the Jackie Chan movies, or Karate Kid movie (also got Jackie Chan in that). they're very funny, if the fight scenes don't look that logical, we can still enjoy them. but in Hanna, it's a serious movie. so, make the fight scenes SERIOUSLY STUNNING! otherwise, you don't have a cool movie.

she IS stunning, right?? (saoirse, btw). i hate it, when i Googled 'Hanna', fucking Hannah Montana came out. bummer.

hey-hey. lemme tell you what i like about movies.

1. the background music

particularly, during a fight / shooting-spree scene. and the background music is something mellow, soothing, almost like a lullaby. it's very contrasting with each other, and i dont know, i just like it. like, it's supposed to sound really really loud, but it's not. like, all the explosions are supposed to be a calming effect on those who are watching. i don't really know about music, but it's kind of like the music played in the orchestra. violins and all. and if the scene is in a slow motion, it'll be a bonus. 

examples:

Gamer. while Kable (my dearest Gerard Butler) is in the game, while he's watching out for himself, from being shot. and he sees all these body parts flying around, all the missiles, and explosions. and he is trying to save some pedestrian walking across the chaotic street.

Kick-Ass. while kick-ass is floating with this thing on his back, and he uses some kind of a machine gun, firing non-stop at a huge glass outside an office in a building. Hallelujah is played. and another scene while Hit Girl is fighting (there are a lot, but there's this one i really like. forgot what scene exactly.)

The Last Airbender. the last part, of course. while the kid is doing his 'silat' on the Great Wall of China (it's not, but it looks like it), and  summoning water, i guess? and the ocean water is like, raising real high, and it went back down. i think the kid just wants to show off. oh and the music behind it is just remarkable.

2. of course, something funny

funny like, i can laugh like crazy, those who sit next to me will think twice about sitting next to me again the next time. something funny, more like humiliating kind of event.

examples:

Get Smart. where Max (Steve Carell) is trying to scream out his excitement of finally being put in a mission, and he's trying to hide in that thing the tech-men invented, where if you push the button, you'll be enclosed in something that acts as a barrier between you and the world. and it turns out he didn't push the button hard enough, and everybody can here what he's screaming.

Dinner for Schmucks. Steve Carell also. there's A LOT of jokes in there. yeah my fav is while they are having lunch or brunch or tea or something. and Steve Carell uses some freak woman who has a crush on Paul Rudd, and that woman is supposed to pretend to be Paul's fiance. because Paul is meeting some potential customer, and he must look good. and the potential customer's wife is so into art, and Paul's real fiance works in the art industry. they pass a napkin with messages on it. and the real funny part is when the freak woman passes a message that reads 'I'm wet.' to Paul. and Steve passes it to that customer!

Just Go With It. Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston are amazing. the jokes are really jokes. i usually don't like kids, but the kids in that movie is freakin awesome. worth laughing out loud.

3. explosions

yeahh i loove explosions. but what really bugs me is those 'heroes' who cause the explosions, and don't even bother to turn back to look at their work. c'mon, seriously? of course you love to see explosions, right? you made it, for God's sake. don't you even feel a bit curious what would it look like? pfft.


ps: my fav movie is Joan of Arc. that's when i started to like Milla Jovovic. the one line i remember the most, and i would say it in sync whenever i watch this movie is: "Follow me! Follow me!" *i know it's so short, anyone can remember it, but it's what the line really means.*


why so sentimental?

H.O.M.E

i balik rumah je i mengantuk lah. pukul 9.30pm dah ternganga depan tv tertidur. seriously? 9.30? i feel like an old lady. speaking of old lady, i think my mom has osteoarthritis of the left knee. yes, it's a common problem. but still, i see these patients everyday, and i see the surgeries. never in a million years i imagine my own mother to have this problem. but she seems ok now. after i massaged her leg and all. may God bless her and give her excellent health. and us too.

speaking of tidur awal. this is the moment that i've been waiting for, all my life. (ok not all my life, but for the past 2 weeks) : TO BE AT HOME. and now i'm home already, and i fell asleep at 9.30? is that normal? noo it's not. but i think i know why i fell asleep. it's because of the sofa. everytime, i mean, EVERYTIME i lie down there, watching TV, no matter it's day or night, i WILL fall asleep. not when i'm on the other sofa. so yes. i'm not the one with the problem here. it's THE sofa. 

and Gucci. man, that cat. that darn cat. she's soooo annoying i can't even stand her for more than 5 minutes. she's bigger and fatter now. and that thing has teeth, alright. she bites like i'm a chewy pork. (ok it's not that i know what a chewy pork tastes like, nor that i like to refer myself as a pork, be it chewy or not.) Rephrase. she bites like she would really love to bury her teeth deep inside my arm forever. Rephrase. she bites like i'm dodol (raya mood is in the aayyeeerrr. although i'm not a fan of dodol). although i have to hate her, she's just so cute i can't hate her anymore. yes, she's the one at the top of my page. that's when she was still an innocent, cute little kitten who loved to sleep on my chest. oh sweet memories. now, when i put her on my chest, she starts munching in my hair! and when i pull my hair back, she tries to grab it, with the claws! any deeper and my left carotid artery will burst. that darn cat. 

it's funny how my parents have booked me for certain tasks in the holiday.

mama: "nanti adik tolong mama kopek bawang eh. mama sakit lutut ni. adik janji tau? pastu tolong isikan beras dalam sarung ketupat. nak suruh anyam ketupat tak pandai. huh."

papa: "nanti adik tolong papa pasang khemah kat belakang rumah eh hari sabtu? papa booked adik dulu takut mama nak guna adik on that day."

kesian. anak-anak sikit. dapat book sorang je. haha! oh yes my darlings, i'd looove to help you guys out :)

then before balik, my mother said there's a surprise when i come back home. i was imagining, some new furniture, or an iPhone 4 or 5 (ok that's impossible, cause i never told them how badly i craved for an iPhone. not that if they knew they will simply buy it for me, duhh), or a new TV set in my bedroom, or a new piano for me (although i know shit nothing about playing piano), or anything lah. that will be a surprise. then, when i came, i see nothing obvious. then i asked them. 

"what's the surprise?"

"oh. ha mari-mari sini mama tunjuk. tadaaa"

don't even know if they're fake or not

huh? a plant? no. there are 3 of them. the major question is: IS IT SUPPOSED TO SURPRISE ME? but of course, being a good daughter, i don't say it out loud. i just said,

"hahh? ni ke surprise nya?"

see how good a daughter i am?

love to be home.

too disappointed to even care~

yey hari jumaat balik! ok sepatutnya plan aku hari khamis nak balik. tapi ada sorang doktor psycho yg sangat concern pasal murid-muridnya, jadi dia dah cakap,

"i expect to see my students, in my Spine team, to be present in Friday morning ward round."

at that time i was thinking of any excuse. 

MC?

oh dia siap clarify maksud MC (medical certificate) lagi. the head of department (aku rasa bukan dia head of dept, tapi sbb ceritanya mungkin dia yg akan terima surat MC dari student, so dia nak cakap la apa yg dia akan buat dgn surat MC tu) has the right to question the MC letter. if you're very very sick, how come you're not admitted? (seriously? you want us to at least have one fractured leg than only we can go home?) emergency leave is only when disaster happens. death, natural disasters. you cannot use the natural disaster that happens in US as your excuse in your leave, and death of animal pets are not accepted as an excuse also.

and i was thinking,

maybe he won't even realize i'm not in the ward round. too many people following him during the round. i might be clouded by my shyness and dumbness.

then suddenly,

"i may not remember your names, but i do remember faces. so don't even think of asking your friends to be the replacement. how many of you in my Spine team? 6?"

dangg. then when he was saying all this shit stuff, i was looking at him. and oh, seriously? it was like, directed especially at me! so i smiled my stupid smile to him. and he said,

"apa senyum-senyum? you have any plan on going back on Thursday, is it? what, tiket nak balik kampung dah takda yg lain ke?"

and i was like,

"whaaa-? noo noo"

this is really happening. i can't believe it.

"really? because i saw you cuit-cuit kawan sebelah tu,"

and everybody was laughing. my God. is he psychic or something. scary.

so, here i am. counting days. hours. minutes. to go back home. nak basuh baju, tapi asyik hujan je. taknak bawak banyak-banyak barang balik rumah. but terpaksalah gamaknya.

zhafran ajak tengok Final Destination 5 esok. c'mon. really? bosan je. FD4 pun bosan. nanti dia mesti ada cut the gruesome scenes. then what for you watch it, right? you pay for the disgusting part. wasting your money lah. don't, don't watch it. let's go to KFC and have cheesy wedges instead.

so i'll have 2 sahurs and 1 more buka puasa here. fun way of counting.

doomed diary

why do people write in their diary? my father said, he used to write in his diary to improve his handwriting. and yeah, i could see his handwriting in those old books of his, and it's quite charming. now, he seldom writes, and his letter N looks like an H. quite troublesome though, because in that case, my name would be FARAN in all those borang kemasukan whatever. (wait, why would my dad fill in my borang? it's just the way he is. ya lah, he only got 2 daughters. he loves us. although i might say, sometimes a little bit overprotective. but that's one of the ways people express their love, right?)

nowadays, people don't even have any diary. with all those PDAs, iPhones, iPads, yada yada yada. the importance of writing a diary is being forgotten (wait, is there any? i've forgotten). once, in my secondary school, my friend got busted, when we stole and peeked at her diary. here's the story:

P (girl) had a crush on A (boy, duh.) and living in a boarding school, handphones are prohibited. but we were not angels, of course. so some (most) of us brought handphones to school. but P was a real angel. she didn't. so she borrowed our roomate's, R (girl), handphone to contact / text A. everyday, after school, P was extra excited to get to the dorm, and get permission (i mean, reaaaal angel, even bother to ask for permission) from R to use her hp to text A. everything went well, though. P looked happy. i don't know whether A was happy too or what. i rarely asked. 'cause i was busy with my crush, H. but H was boring, so let's stay with P, A, and R.

so, one day, i heard some gossip from the other girls,

"is R dating A?"

and i was like, what? noo.. that can't be true. R is giving her hp so that P can date A. that's true. 

then i asked R. was it true? i really thought she would just say a simple 'no'. instead, she hesitated a bit. at that time, thus confirming the gossip. i just don't know how i felt. poor P! R you bitch. that's just a whole new level of betrayal, man. then, i forced R to break things up with A (i know, what a mess. but since we were kids, that's just how things work). and R said she would.

"i will, i will. i know."

i will my ass. she didn't! then, one day, while R was not around, P and i was lingering around our dorm, bored. then, P pointed to R's locker, and showed me R's diary. the diary was hard covered, and got some lock, which needed a combination to open it. we were just messing around, since R repeatedly asked us not to mess with her diary. well, the more you say 'do not', the more we 'do'. we fiddled with it a bit, and just trying different combinations of numbers. i sure as hell hoped we never get the right combination. but P being P (a very smart person), somehow got the combination. and we flipped page by page, then came THE page. the page from hell. the page i secretly prayed R wouldn't even have. but being R, such important events (texting, flirting, and slutting are compulsary to put in a locked diary).


it was all very girly in the first few pages. and turned into yucky the more we read it. and kind of disgusting when THE important page from hell came to our view. disgusting 'cause, i don't know. it reminds me of all the bitter feeling i had which was, not knowing whether to ACT shocked, or just come clean to P.

P cried when she knew that R was dating A. and i, don't know how to act, hmm. i just told P that i knew. and i explained to her that i already told R to break it up! but she wouldn't. and P was mad at me. waaaay more mad at me than she was at R. until now, i still feel i don't deserve to be hated that much, more than R deserved. but whatever. it was about, betrayal, and not telling, and things like that. and P being P, she said,

"i don't want to fight because of some stupid boy."

and so P didn't fight with R. she forgave her (angelic). but she didn't forgive me! (not that angelic). it took like, i don't know, months? for her to actually talk to me again. fuck you R.

but now, 5 years has gone too fast. and when i think about it, WE WERE THAT STUPID? haha. so R did, break up with A (thank goodness, nobody even thought they made a cute couple, anyway). and P got a new boyfriend. and they broke up. and now everybody's single! stupid boys. the end.


you see, a new type of writing diary now would be blogging. but it's not really a diary, is it? a diary is something you keep to your self. a blog is something you share with the world. talking about BIG difference. so, unless you're totally anonymous in your blog, then you can pretty much rant about whatever you want, even dirty-talk about your own family members. that's just plain rotten, but we do have some evil part in ourselves, right? denying it would place you in THAT part.


i've tried writing in a diary. never worked. i'm just too plain lazy to recall whatever happened throughout the day. and sitting, and hunching, and writing, and wasting my ink. my pens are very precious to me. they always disappear. i hate to waste my money on PENS only!! that's just me putting it all out about my troubled relationship with pens. we repel each other, that's it. even though i marked my name on it, they still run away from me. don't know about you, but have you ever felt VERY disappointed when your pen is missing? i could be a moody bitch the whole day if it happens. and i don't think people understand (people here including zhafran, who's always my victim of missing-a-pen tantrums). so that would make me look like a wacko.


you look a bit moody.


a bit, you say?


what's wrong?


my pen is missing.


".....oh.. don't you have other pens? you can borrow mine if you want.


thanks. but no thanks. i'd prefer having my own.


come on, for real? a pen? suck it up and stop being a psycho over one fucking pen.

thanks, gediks. u cheer up our world.

bila aku baca-baca blog orang lain, ada satu entry yg wajib setiap orang ada. semua org pun nak cakap benda yg sama. FACEBOOK. aku ingat, bila pergi kat blog yg cool-cool tu, tak da la kot dia nak cakap pasal FB. tapi ada jugak la. aku rasa, orang yg rasa dia cool, dia akan cakap la pasal ni. well, aku tak cool pun. sebab ni ha entry aku ada pasal FB (apa ni? tak faham). tapi maybe lain sikit kot.

semua orang nak cakap, betapa diorang rimas ngan orang yg:

1) asyik tukar profile picture / camwhore

to be honest, banyak yg mereka-mereka rimaskan ni, aku pun rimas jugak sebenarnya. ya lah, siapa suka tengok gambar org yg asyik-asyik snap gambar sendiri, macam-macam angle lah apa suma (boleh la baca kat blog-blog mereka ini (http://humpathon.blogspot.com/2011/05/facebook-meltdowns.html, http://theotherkhairul.blogspot.com/).<-- yg ni byk sangat postnye, entah mana pasal FB camwhore ni.

not surprisingly, mereka-mereka ini suma lelaki lah ye. mestilah lelaki takda yg nak snap gambar sendiri-sendiri kembung-kembung pipi point guna jari kat mulut, besar-besarkan mata. mestilah perempuan kan tu. so mereka ni pun rant la pasal orang-orang gedik ni. serious, aku pun tak suka la yg gedik-gedik ni.

2) yang asyik tukar status ratus-ratus kali satu hari

katanya, sibuk nak bagitahu kau makan apa for breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner, supper. nobody wants to know. nobody cares. and status yg konon ada meltdown lah, heartbroken lah. and status yg konon nak attention, quote-quote yg best-best. kalau org like, tersangatlah happy. dia sendiri yg post status, dia sendiri yg comment. alah benda ni dah biasa lah org kutuk. tapi tak ramai yg depan-depan kutuk. kutuk dalam blog je *terasa?*

itulah 2 benda yg paling banyak org rimaskan. ada lagi, tapi apa entah. baca la sendiri. tu je lah tajuk yg tak habis-habis orang nk mengumpat mengeji. aku pun mengumpat gak orang-orang camni. hmm. sebenarnya, aku pon tak berapa tahu nak clarify my point here. 

ok lah. dia macam ni. ada 4 phases.

Phase 1: orang start kenal FB. em, nak tulis apa status? oh boleh tukar-tukar status suka-suka hati! oh bestnye. oh boleh tukar-tukar profile picture! oh orang boleh like. oh orang boleh comment. so i nak selalu tukar lah status and profile pics. so orang boleh like. and comment. oh happy nya.

Phase 2: orang dah mula muak dengan orang-orang di Phase 1. berbulu di hati je. nak ngumpat kat FB ngn kawan, takut kawan tu bagitau si gedik tu. kita mana tahu siapa baik dengan siapa kan? mana tau, kat FB dia jarang contact-contact, takda sangat gambar sama-sama. tapi in real life best friend pulak tu. nak ngumpat belakang-belakang, kena tanya dulu, "eh kau baik ke dengan si polan binti si polan tu?" (notice the 'binti'?) kalau tak menyampah sangat, still rasa takut nak ngumpat. kalau dia jawab, "uisy, menyampah aku ngn dia. gedik semacam." haa time ni baru lah boleh ngumpat pasal kegedikan dia kat FB pulak. tapi ngumpat kecil-kecilan je. bukan ramai-ramai.

Phase 3: orang yg memang confident, tak main la ngumpat kecil-kecilan ni (a.k.a famous bloggers). oh start la list kan benda-benda gedik yg orang selalu buat kat FB. dan betapa menyampahnya mereka dengan orang-orang gedik ni. supaya satu dunia tahu. nak cakap macam, "i'm just articulating what other people feel now, about those losers in FB."  dan start la org comment kat blog dia. "yalah, yalah. menyampah gila. you rock, bro!". tak kurang juga yg comment : "alah, terasa pulak". tapi selalu orang gedik-gedik kat FB ni tak berapa nak baca sgt blog org lain. dia sibuk update status FB dia.

Phase 4: aku! (ahaks perasan). aku lah yg listkan phase-phase tak bertauliah ni. (konon i'm seeing the biggest picture here lah. oh i'm so full of myself)

so, pointnya, orang tu semua unik. (ada pulak yg ckp, if we're all unique, doesn't that make us similar? pastu ada gambar rama-rama yg colour oren hitam tu banyak-banyak. duh what a loser.) mesti ada punya lah yg gedik. and mesti ada punya yg cool. yg cool pun, mesti ada punya yg akan TERjadi gedik. tapi yg gedik akan sentiasa jadi gedik. so, kalau rant dalam blog pun, tak semua yg baca. apatah lagi yg gedik-gedik yg malas nak baca blog orang tu. so, takkan berubah lah. memang akan ada lah yg gedik tu sampai bila-bila.

ni baru betul definition unique. bukan rama-rama tu

TAPI, fikir balik, biarlah org tu nak buat apa. takkan nak semua orang cool mcm anda? kalau semua orang cool dan tak gedik, nanti bosan lah takda apa nak rant kat dalam blog korang haha! if you really want it, it would be boring. and cool. kat FB tu la kan. everyone pun nak control masa post status. post status tak boleh exceed 5 times a day. tak boleh selalu comment kat status sendiri. nanti tak cool. everyone pun nak upload pics, not more than 10 profile pics. kalau lebih, tak cool. upload album pics pun, tak banyak gambar sendiri. gambar orang lain or gambar binatang peliharaan je. boring kan? (ok i love binatang peliharaan so not boring for me lah). takda apa nak kutuk lah nanti. takda sangat la perempuan pakai tudung tapi baju ketat, sendat, singkat yg korang boleh kutuk kan? takda lagi lah perempuan yg kembung-kembung pipi yg korang boleh make fun of kan? (ok i talk like i DO those things, and i want to defend those people, but really, i don't, and i'm not defending anyone). so, the point is, DO YOU REALLY WANT ALL THOSE GEDIK PEOPLE TO CHANGE? haa jawab-jawab jgn tak jawab. the gedik people make your blogs famous, y'know. not saying you should thank them. just saying. 

my boring day

sukanya dengar lecture miss hazla tadi. english slang british you. i pun nak lah. even though type-type kat sini tak dengar pun british slang nye.

today i don't feel like i used to feel, which is 'not enthusiastic to live another day of my life here'. today i don't really feel enthusiastic, but i'm not feeling down to the ground, to say the least. today is friday, which makes it approximately a week away from the Raya Holiday!

the other day when there was a lecture with Mr Halim, when the lecture ended, Mr Halim decided to hang around, giving us some thoughts and pearls of words (?). with all those mumbling (because he spoke too softly i could barely hear him, not because he spoke rubbish), i caught something.

"when people ask, do you love to read books? and they will answer : YES. oh, good, good. it's good to read books. but wait, what KIND of books? haa you see? it's not really lying, but people always assume that 'like to read books' is good, but it all depends on the kind of books you read."

ouch. right at my face. currently i'm reading "she's come undone" by Wally Lamb. such a terrible pen name.

but, is it THAT wrong to read storybooks? come on, it's not that bad, is it? there is one excuse i can give for reading storybooks, instead of medical books:

i want to improve my english.

but that would be partially lying. because, my initial intention would be to improve my english, but books after books, i'm just enjoying myself. the intention, i don't know where it's gone. a lot of times i found the words that i don't understand. but i seldom check the meanings out. so, reading storybooks now is just for the sake of my pleasure.

it seems like i'm in the good mood here, right? well, before this (for like about 4 hours ago), i was not. but because i'm in such a good mood now, i won't bitch about other people. but i will articulate what i felt 4 hours ago, minus the bitching part:

you and your promises. go fuck off. (this i grabbed from the book i'm reading now. but the real words are: you promised me a lot of things. you ruined my life. or something like that.) i feel left out already. suddenly there came all the offers from people around me to mingle together. then suddenly when i approach for them, they shut me out. but i'm not that hurt. the pain score would be like, 2/10 only. so don't worry. i can survive. i'm going alone. you happy? wait, i can't be bothered whether you're happy or not. see? told ya i can survive.

colours

raya tahun ni, nak baju colour kuning. fikir-fikir balik,

"aku dah lama takda baju kurung colour hijau."

fikir-fikir balik, 

"naah. tak mau la colour hijau."

fikir-fikir balik, banyak pulak fikir. kalau fikir pasal ortho takpe jugak. pandai sikit lah otak aku nanti.

"naah. nak fikir jugak pasal colour."

baru aku perasan, untuk seseorang yg suka semua colour, baju-baju aku takda pulak ada semua colour. contohnya, biru, pink, oren, coklat, purple, putih, hijau.

ok pink tu boleh dimaafkan kalau takda. purple tu ada, just tak muat dah. susah nak cari coklat yg lawa. ok tak susah, tapi sebab aku bukannya cerah sangat, tak cantik pun pakai coklat. putih, everytime nak beli, takut kotor. so macam takkan beli je. hijau, ok susah nak cari yg lawa (tu baru betul). oren boleh pakai excuse macam coklat. biru, hmm.. ntahlah. mcm takda excuse. so kena cepat beli baju biru!

kalau orang tanya, aku suka colour apa, aku akan jwb, 

"i love all colours. no predilection."

tapi, rupa-rupanya, aku suka barang yg warna-warni. yg ada semua colour kat satu item.

ok socks ni tak cantik pun.

ataupun lain-lain item yg ada satu colour setiap satu, tapi diletakkan di satu tempat yg sama

maybe tu sebabnya aku suka tengok magazine yang ada barang mekap, then tengok mekap orang.

especially yg ada warna-warni gitu. dulu, aku suka t-shirt yg simple2, tapi ada tulis-tulis something yg bermakna

ok aku tak mampu pun beli nike dulu

tapi sekarang, kalau boleh, aku nak baju semua plain-plain. yg ada colar jugak. shirt. sbb mcm smart. di samping casual. uhu

minus the belt, of course.

tapi kadang-kadang, aku nak jugak baju yg ada pattern. (still warna-warni)

minus the goatee. ahaks

or tshirt yg ada satu je motif dia. dan cute. kucing misalnya.

oh nak nak

pagi-pagi dah politik

pagi-pagi bangun pagi, dah tak semangat. pagi-pagi bangun pagi, mandi, tidur balik. baju pun tak iron. alah, pakai white coat kan? kenapa la selama ni aku rajin sangat nak iron. pagi-pagi bangun pagi, fikir,

"kenapa la bukan minggu ni yg balik rumah? kenapa minggu depan?"

pagi-pagi pergi ward, bukannya ada ward round pun pukul 7.30pagi. tunggu-tunggu, pukul 8.30pagi baru start. buat apa aku datang pagi-pagi sangat? pagi-pagi dah pergi OT nak tengok surgery. masuk dalam OT, kena halau. tunggu kat luar, kena halau jugak. doktor-doktor dan para surgeons sekalian, kami bukan saja-saja nak menyemak kat OT meng increase kan risk of infection kat patients. kami juga bukan nak termangu-mangu kesejukan dengan pakaian OT di belakang pintu OT itu. kami kena observe at least 8 orthopaedic surgeries seperti yg terpampang di dalam logbook kami. tak sangka pulak bilateral total knee replacement (TKR) mengambil masa lebih dari 4 jam ye. sungguh la penat berdiri ye boleh dapat lordosis (bontot tonggek), varicose vein (urat timbul-timbul kat kaki), dan depression (extreme boredom).

nasib baik khoo hau wei baik sangat borak-borak pasal politik. politik pasal BERSIH, Najib dan bininya, mahathir, Anwar dan bininya, Nik Aziz, parlimen, ekonomi, politik di China, Pak Lah dan menantunya. selain itu, terdapat juga perbualan pasal karier seorang doktor, kenapa anda memilih karier doktor (ada org jawab "sebab saya NAK jadi politician"), dan menteri kesihatan yg tidak memiliki title Dr pun. lagi cerita pasal kawan-kawan kami yg pandai-pandai, yg ambil STPM, yg top 6 STPM in the country (Pei Sun), yg band 6 MUET, yg nerd sangat-sangat (Chan Kok Joo).

khoo hau wei menyatakan kekesalannya memilih bidang perubatan. apabila ditanya,

"kalau tak ambil medicine, ambil apa?" beliau menjawab,

"medicine jugak."

shashida bertanya,

"cuba teka. dalam banyak-banyak menteri, menteri apa yg masih berumah kayu/papan?"

"huh, papan?"

"yelah, ada la batu-batu sikit kot rumah dia"

"tak tau la. sapa?"

"nik aziz."

"oh, tapi bukan dia ada kereta mercedes ke?"

"tu tak tau la. tapi rumah dia rumah kayu. dari dulu sampai sekarang."

"oh rumah buruk takpe. jangan kereta buruk."

er. aku tak tau pun nik aziz tu menteri? aku tak suka politik pun. tapi disebabkan ada khoo hau wei yg telah menjelaskan beberapa perkara dengan ayat-ayat dan perkataan yg mudah-mudah, jadi aku pun faham lah sikit-sikit.

i wish!

wish i could be so honest.

wey, nk hang out tak mlm ni?

taknak. aku takde mood nak bersosial sekarang. buang masa, buang duit je. n ko bukan 1st org yg aku nak jumpa sekarang. aku nk jumpa family aku je sekarang.

wish i have more money.

weh jom masuk padini. zara ke. weh cantik gile baju ni aku nak beli la. weh ko tak nak beli ke baju yg ko usha tu? cantik la. beli je la.

aku tak kaya mcm kau.

wish my finger won't hurt this much.

wish i'm superb at english.

teori konspirasi. kalau tak tahu, jgn forward. makes WE look bad.

makes 'us' ler.. (kata seseorang yg membetulkan aku)

god. dah la salah, siap capital letters lagi. ironic. that makes ME look bad, ain't it? tapi my main point is the "teori konspirasi". not my English.

oh and i had to turn down a friend's ask for help. they need to 'internationalize' their English for a proposal paperwork. quite flattered she even considered me to do that. however, siapa lah aku yg nak internationalize kan apa-apa pun. so i think my dad really suites for the job.

i wish i have a car, so i can buy CHESCO sticker.

wey, korg, cpt, i need approval mana yg cantik. nnt nk print out.

wey, korg cpt, sapa yg nak sticker ni bgtau. cepat2, nnt habis.

i wish i can indulge in whatever conversation going on in that FB. feel like i don't belong.

so much of negative energy lingering around me now.

Curse of the Spellmans

ni ialah satu buku cerita. sangat lah kelakar. aku sarankan semua org baca buku ni. sebenarnya ada lagi satu buku before this one. tak tau la ada berapa total. buku ni sekarang aku tgh baca tak habis lagi. the other buku is The Spellmans Files. kot. tak sure lah apa betul ke tak tu.

cerita ni pasal a dysfunctional family yg sangat kelakar. got mom (olivia), dad (albert), and 3 children (David, Isabel, and Rae). all of them are PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS except for david, a lawyer. mai sini aku amik a few excerpts yg aku suka:

while Isabel was looking at Rae, Rae immediately knew that Isabel wanted her to go steal the Subject's (person they're investigating on) trash (literally, trash. the one you put in the trash bin). because there's a lot you can find about a person by looking at their trash. below was how the deal between them went (isabel's paying rae to go through Subject's trash). oh, isabel's 30 years old, and rae's 15 going-on-16.

Isabel (I) : five dollars.

Rae (R) : twenty.

I : ten.

R : twenty-five.

I : fifteen.

R : thirty.

I : you're supposed to go down, not up.

R : there are no rules.

I : ten.

R : thirty-five.

I : okay fine. twenty.

rae took the money and headed for the door. in their family, if one loses a negotiation, they like to pretend that they have won.

I : i would have given you thirty.

R : i would have done it for five.

isabel likes to take notes. she has a list of ex-boyfriends. the list is in the appendix site of the book.

ex-bf #1

name: goldstein, max

age: 14

occupation: 9th grader, presidio middle school

hobby: skateboarding

duration: 1 month

last words: "dude, my mom doesn't want me hanging out with you anymore"

ex-bf #2

name: slater, henry

age: 18

occupation: freshman, UC berkeley

hobby: poetry

duration: 7 months

last words: "you've never heard of Robert Pinsky?"

ex-bf #3

name: flannagan, sean

age: 23

occupation: bartender

hobbies: being irish, drinking

duration: 2.5 months

last words: "order dan Guinness, we don' haf much in common."

ex-bf #4

name: collier, professor michael

age: 47 (her: 21)

occupation: professor of philosophy

hobby: sleeping with students

duration: 1 semester

last words: "this is wrong. i need to stop doing this."

ex-bf #5

name: fuller, joshua

age: 25

hobby: alcoholics anonymous

duration: 3 months

last words: "our relationship is a threat to my sobriety."

ex-bf #6

name: ryan, sean

age: 29

occupation: bartender

hobbies: porn, aspiring novelist

duration: 2 months

last words: "i don't think we have enough in common" (uttered by her)

ex-bf #7

name: greenberg, zack

age: 29

occupation: owner of web design firm

hobby: soccer

duration: 1.5 months

last words: "you ran a credit check on my brother?"

ex-bf #8

name: martin, greg

age: 29

occupation: graphic designer

hobby: triathlons

duration: 4 months

last words: "if i have to answer one more fucking question, i'm going to kill myself."

ex-bf #9

name: castillo, daniel

age: 38

occupation: dentist

hobby: tennis

duration: 3 months

last words: "it was over after the fake drug deal."

ex-bf #10

name: larson, greg

age: 38

occupation: sheriff

hobby: never found one

duration: 6 weeks

last word: "nope."