growing up with glory

ok this just came to me. fresh from the oven.

masa i sekolah rendah, i takut nak pergi sekolah menengah. lagi-lagi dapat tau i masuk boarding school kan. jauh dgn family lah (i anak manja gitu aww), ada kena ambil macam-macam subjek lah, stream lah (time tu tak tau pun stream tu apa benda). menakutkan.

dah masuk sekolah menengah, takut nak study after sekolah menengah. time tu tak tau la masuk matrik ke, diploma kat mana-mana U ke kan. sebab kat sekolah menengah da biasa di spoon-fed. katanya semua yg after sekolah menengah dah tak da dah spoonfeeding-spoonfeeding ni. menakutkan.

dah masuk matrik, alah kena jugak spoonfeeding. so lega la sikit. tapi takut nak masuk U. katanya ni BETUL-BETUL tak da spoonfeeding. menakutkan.

dah masuk U year 1, ada lagi spoonfeeding. sebab nota lecture sentiasa ada. so for me, that's considered spoonfeeding jugak ok.tapi bila dah habis year 2, rasa takut nak masuk clinical years 3, 4, 5. yelah kita dah biasa baca buku kan. nanti dah masuk clinical years kena selalu pergi ward. confronting REAL patients. menakutkan.

dah masuk year 3, ok takut jugak lah. tak da dah spoonfeeding. ini baru betul takda spoonfeeding. selalu jumpa patients. takut nak approach patients. takut kena reject. *memang selalu pun kena reject* 

dah masuk year 4, takut nak masuk year 5. sebab masa year 3 and 4, bila prof tanya and tak dapat jawab, prof akan cakap, "oh you guys year 3 / 4 baru. that's ok, you don't need to know that much. not up to your standard yet." so i budget "up to standard" means year 5 la kan.

dah masuk year 5,..

eh eh. belum masuk year 5 lagi laa. huhu.

ok ok kejap. haritu kan i pergi lari-lari olahraga gitu. kalah la tak payah cerita. lepas tu i pun buat kawan la dengan lain-lain budak yg lari-lari sama dengan i from other colleges, sebab i kan peramah orangnya. lepas tu, boleh kata 90% of them year 1. oh i so felt like makcik there. and then, kat surau, ada la i borak-borak dgn sorang ni, 

i: year berapa?

budak: year 2. awak year berapa?

i: year 4. 

budak: err, so umur awak 24 la? 

i was like, 

yo, you see any wrinkles on my face? i'm 22 for God's sake. 

hey here's another surprise for you: that BUDAK is also 22! 

budak my ass.

(still don't understand why she's in 2nd year and still 22. segan nak tanya.)

ok she only guessed i'm 2 years older. 24-year-olds don't have wrinkles on their faces, right? must say, 2 years is nothing maaan. nothing. 

yeah it's not, sorry.