suju

oho! two posts in a day. just minutes apart. takpe. sebab sekarang, i want to mengumpat budak year 3. harharhar.

budak-budak year 3 ni, kurang manners la. i don't like. menyombong tak tentu hala.

ok la unfair kalau cakap semua year 3 macam tu. tidak. lagipun yang menyombong tu aku kenal sikit je. jangankan nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga. don't let a buffalo smeared with mud smear all the other buffaloes with mud. 

tapi yang nak cerita ni yang sombong la kan?

huh. pandang tak senyum pun. tau la cantik. cantik pun perangai buruk tak guna jugak. tak nak cakap or mintak tunjuk ajar seniors pun, senyum je la bila jumpa. tunjuk hormat sikit. bukan menonong jalan tayang muka cun kau tu.

kalau nak panggil or tanya seniors, pergi dekat-dekat, then cakap, 

"err kak, sorry nak tanya. teaching dengan mr praveen hari ni pukul berapa ye?"

haa kan sejuk je telinga aku dengar. then maybe aku akan jawab,

"eh aku tak tau la. sori. tanya la ketua kau."

itu kira baik la tu aku jawab. ini tidak. nak panggil aku, dari jauh di gamit-gamit je guna tangan. tau tak gamit tu apa? tau kan la. lepas tu terus tanya teaching dengan mr praveen pukul berapa. hoi, dah la tu kelas year 3 sebenarnya. kitorang yg year 5 ni nak tumpang sama je. sepatutnya year 3 la yang tau kelas tu pukul berapa. sepatutnya aku la yang tanya kelas tu pukul berapa. tapi still, aku jawab macam yang aku jawab kat atas tu. entah la mungkin aku dah jadi baik?

yang lagi satu ni jadi kat kawan aku. malam-malam budak year 3 ni datang ward. entah apa kau buat pun aku tak tau. baca case notes. fine. nak cari case write up kot. duduk kat counter. lepas tu ditolaknya kerusi. ok lagi. tapi, kerusi yang ditolak tu terkena kawan aku. kuat la jugak. ok lagi. tapi, dia tak cakap sorry pun!. ok la sebenarnya dengar benda ni macam kecik je. memang kecik pun. tapi, benda-benda kecik macam ni la yang matter sebenarnya. tak kisah la kau terlanggar siapa-siapa pun, kau mesti la cakap sorry. kalau aku terlanggar juniors pun, aku cakap sorry what. damn.

nak kata karma, aku rasa time aku junior dulu takde pulak aku kurang ajar dengan seniors. jarang bercakap-cakap pun. jumpa senyum, tunduk, sudah.

budak-budak ni. sebenarnya, kalau korang approach aku, and mintak tolong macam, how to present long case ke, how to present during ward rounds ke, boleh la aku tunjuk ajar sikit-sikit. bukan la nak kata aku hebat ke apa. tapi, i've been in your place once. i've been the third year medical student in surgery posting, who was super blur. surgery was my first posting in 3rd year. nak history taking hancur. nak present lagi la hancur. tapi aku tak tanya seniors pun. tapi entah macam mana aku boleh survive. but kalau tanya seniors pun aku rasa lagi bagus. kurang la blur2 tu.

these things take practice. masa 3rd year sangat ngeng. lama-lama, dah biasa history taking, dah biasa dengar orang present, so sendiri akan improve. kalau korang approach aku, akan akan spoon-feed korang. sebab aku tau lecturers sekarang semua taknak spoon-feed. kadang-kadang, bila kau blur yang tersangat-sangat, spoon-feeding is like a blessing. bila kau blur, tiba-tiba ada orang yang nak bagitau semua benda, and kau just senyap je. kau tanya la macam-macam, and orang tu akan bagitau. pergh heaven. tapi ni kalau nak spoon-feed benda-benda basic je la. like, doctor ni nak apa, doctor tu nak apa.

haih. penatnya. typing pun penat. terasa macam membebel betul-betul.

my lots-and-lots-of free time

so today i'm going to teluk intan. for surgery posting. not sure to feel happy or not. got no internet there. unless you go to giant's mcdonald's or oldtown white coffee or burger king.

i don't have a car. i'm not close to the ones who have.

i've finished watching how i met your mother season 7. i don't have season 8.

somebody i don't like has the big bang theory season 4, which i don't have. so i'll just be a two-faced bitch and kindly ask him to give me the big bang theory season 4. so i can watch it during my lots-and-lots-of free time in teluk intan.

i scroll down through facebook. and hate what i see. attention seekers all over  malaysia. and wondering why do i even have them in my friendlist. but i still feel like scrolling down and curse them silently, since in teluk intan i won't be able to get to facebook. oh wait i have a smart phone. dang.

i have a lot of work to do. case write up, dual-language forensic reports. better do it during my lots-and-lots-of free time in teluk intan. i haven't seen my mentor yet. the deadline was in october. shit. i don't know how to do a resume or CV. shit.

everybody is screaming about jpa now. they've run out of money. i don't have that problem, but i'll be happy if the money comes in quickly. who won't?

and oh yes. i'm getting engaged this december.

and oh yes. the professional exam is in 5-month time. how awesome since i'm like, fully prepared yo.

patriotik la sikit, dik.

korang tau tak, perjalanan aku nak jadi doktor ni, tak sampai lagi setahun? TAK SAMPAI setahun. adoi. mung takut dok? aku takot. tapi aku nak type2 lagi ni.

tiba-tiba, hari ini, aku diserang bersin-bersin. aku tak tau kenapa. mungkinkah URTI? mungkin juga.

ni nak meluahkan perasaan pasal negara sikit. ecewah. aku tak la tau sangat pasal negara, politik bagai. tapi ni cerita yang pijak-pijak gambar pemimpin negara, tunjuk bontot la hape la. oh, tolong jangan one side je lah everybody. ada jugak kes orang kencingkan gambar Nik Aziz. tapi disebabkan media massa negara ini dimonopoli kerajaan, jadi cerita kencing ni tak berapa nak famous.

bila aku dengar je cerita-cerita ni, aku pun nak bagi la opinion aku kat mak aku. sebenarnya mak aku yg bagitau pasal kencing gambar nik aziz tu.

diorang ni, takde keje lain ke nak buat? pijak-pijak gambar, buat bendera baru (yang hampeh serious tak lawa nak macam singapore. pelik betol orang malaysia ni), tunjuk punggung, kencing-kencing. daripada anda semua buat benda-benda tak berfaedah ini, baik anda semua pergi shopping ke. tengok tv ke. pegi kafe makan ke. bukak laptop, tengok the big bang theory ke. TIDUR KE. bukan semua orang suka tido ke? suka makan ke?

beriya sangat berpolitik. aku ingat lagi ayat bapak aku kepada seseorang yang membuat lawak pasal PM:

"Kalau pemimpin negara pun awak tak hormat, takkan awak nak hormat saya yang Jurubahasa je ni?"

perh tersentap minah tu. padan muka. betul jugak tu. maybe i sound like i'm more to the government, but actually, no. harini ada pilihanraya UKM pun aku tak mengundi harharhar. but seriously, no. this is about humanity. and self-respect. and respecting others. ketepikan la politik tu sekejap. awak tu tak malu ke kencing depan orang ramai? tak malu ke bukak seluar tunjuk bontot kat orang ramai? ee entah ape-ape. budak hingusan.

aku ni pun bukan la baik sangat. memang tak baik pun. jahat je. ramai lagi lagi 'angel' dari aku. melampau-lampau angel (tiada perlian di situ. tapi tak tau kenapa nak ada inverted comma).

maybe sebab aku da pegi kem BTN haritu masa PPD camp. selama ni pegi masa 1st year, 3rd year nampak sangat la aku tido je, tak menyerap apa-apa. baru-baru ni la nak ada kesedaran sikit. ye saya tau, kem BTN tu pro kerajaan. tapi, saya ambik nilai-nilai patriotism sahaja. saya sayang negara saya no matter what. as long as i live happily, in this peaceful country, i am grateful. 

kenapa kau tak suka sangat PM kita tu? sebab bini beliau ke? ke sebab beliau sendiri? bagi aku, kalau PM kita macam diktator, bunuh orang beramai-ramai sukahati, rampas harta orang, nak wujudkan satu negara berdasarkan idea dia sahaja (ok la i maksudkan hitler, pol pot semua la tu), baru la i marah-marah. 

ok la sebenarnya i tak paham la rakyat malaysia yang muda mudi yang asyik nak marah je keje. dengar orang lain cakap sikit dah melenting huu haa huu haa marahnyew sayeww. apa? bahasa inggeris dalam maths and science? no way! alah kalau dalam bahasa melayu pun kau jawab entah apa-apa.

belajarlah. dengan tenang. jangan keluar malam-malam join perhimpunan haram. or pergi clubbing. cool sangat lah tu smoking and drinking tu. pastu post kat fb. haih.

dengan ini saya menghabiskan omelan saya.

Michael Fassbender

Hello, everyone. how's it going? that's just a rhetorical question. i don't even know who you are.

try to read my text here in British accent, will ya? now i know why some people say British accent is sexy. it's because Michael Fassbender lives in England. do you know who Michael Fassbender is? if you don't, then google him for internet's sake. you may get some not-so-handsome images of him, so i recommend you to watch some of his clips in youtube, because he looks damn better in videos than in still images.

although he lives in England, he is actually a German-Irish actor. i thought Ireland is another country? but some people say it's part of England? whatever.

enough with the polite chit-chat about my man Fassy. let's get ferocious!

if you want to be charming, get a smile as wide as his:

i don't have any problem with smokers. as long as they're bad-ass looking smoker:

fedoras are soo last season, but it's totally made for Fassy:

i don't mind some scruffs, or beards or a slightly dishevelled-looking hunk. do you?

i thought so. and recently he was on the cover of GQ magazine.

hope he wins man of the year. totally deserves it. if you still don't think he's hot, i think there's something wrong with your eyes. please get an appointment at the ophthalmology clinic, thank you.

if you watch his clips on youtube, some of his interviews and stuff, you'll also find that this man has got some sense of humor. oh wait, that's an understatement. this man is HILARIOUS gagagagA! well maybe that's an understatement too. but hey, i already liked this guy, so whatever he says makes me smile :DD

actually, other than Michael Fassbender, i want to talk about another thing. do you know about specific people? not specific people. people who are specific. for example:

A: are you sure about this?

B: yeah sure.

A: how sure are you?

B: pretty sure.

A: how sure is 'pretty sure'?

B: .....maybe an 80% sure.

A: there's a 'maybe' there.

B: yeah.

A: so what percentage does a 'maybe' account for?

B: i don't know.

A: so you're not sure?

B: i don't know. i guess.

A: so there's an 'i guess' there.

B: oh fuck off.

which category do you fall into? i'm an A for sure. annoying people all year round.

that's all, have a nice day everyone :)

Criminology: a chronic obsession

Assalamualaikum.

aku perasan aku tak pernahnya nak bagi salam dalam post2 aku. but again, intipatinya pun entah apa2. so, hm.

aku suka baca pasal murder. torture murder, child abuse, cyber bullying, dan seangkatan dengannya. aku suka tengok CSI. tapi yang Las Vegas je. bagi aku, CSI Miami dgn CSI NY tu drama je banyak. aku rasa macam nak ambik master dalam forensik. mak aku pun menggalakkan.

alah, setakat CSI, semua orang pon boleh tengok, ye dok? turn to channel  AXN 701.

haritu, aku ada jalan2 dekat library. ye, library itu besar. boleh jalan2. selalunya aku pergi tempat novel2 cintan cintun je. kat blakaaang nun. lepas tu aku pun rasa guilty sebab tak study. lepas grab 2 buku novel cintan cintun, aku pon konon nak jalan2 la kat rak buku ilmiah. konon nak cari buku Family Medicine. haruslah takde kan. mane ade buku Family Medicine. haish.

tapi aku perasan, kat row rak2 yang laaagi belakang tu. adalah buku2 merepek mengarut pelik2 aku tengok.

Bali Houses. aku bukak, gambar rumah kat Bali. cantik2 woo. macam kat hotel la tu kan. modern + ada la ciri2 Bali kot. mana aku tau aku tak penah pegi Bali. 

Indian Houses. aku bukak, wah lagi cantik. entah hotel mana dia amik. amboi, yang cantik2 je nak letak dalam buku tu ye. rumah2 miskin tepi jalan xde air xde elektrik tu xnak letak? emo pula di situ.

Learn How To Speak. oh ada buku English. aku cari buku Grammar xdak pun. yg ada how to speak. camane nak speak kalau tak dengar? mesti lah sediakan CD untuk aku pasang dan dengar dan speak, kan? adoi.

Anatomy Made Easy. ok ini sgt fun, serious. dalam tu, lukisan anatomy macam komik. aku rasa, memang orang yg lukis komik2 mcm Superman, Spiderman tu la yang buat. siap ajar cmane nak lukis2. tapi anatomy nye superficial je la. setakat superficial muscles, dengan big bones. nak harap artery, veins, nerves mintak ampun la.

lepas tu, satu rak ni telah menghantui aku. ada 2 column kat rak tu penuh dengan: 

CRIMINOLOGY.

sex crime, sex crime against children, suicide, the victims, how to chase a serial killer, homicide, CSI.

wah jakun aku jadinya. 

tapi, ada pulak novel! ada cerita pasal crime2 ni. and, novel2 ni semua BASED ON A TRUE STORY. ever heard of a saying:

once you know a movie is based on a true story, it becomes 100x scarier.

tapi ni novel. ada satu novel ni. cover dia laahai buruknya. kaler merah, ada gambar 2 lelaki, half-half. tajuk dia: 

Like Father Like Son. 

aku ingat apa la. rupanya, tu based on a true story! a psychopath father kills a child with the help of his son. gambar half-half tu ialah gambar betul killers tu. oh meremang.

aku pon pegi letak balik satu novel cintan cintun tu. aku amik buku Like Father Like Son tu. ini mesti baca! ini mesti! inilah buku yang selama ini aku cari.

ee gruesome. and disgusting. aku rasa buku tu telah membuka minda aku ni, kepada semua awful possibilities that may happen in this very world. silalah baca kalau anda semua kuat hati.

aku terfikir, kan aku selalu search2 kat internet pasal torture murder. pinjam buku pon pasal torture murder.

NANTI AKU JADI PSYCHOPATH KE?

omg God forbid. lagi satu, aku fikir, kalau sini ada mayat kena bunuh brutally ke, kalau diorang nak investigate, aku mungkin boleh jadi salah satu suspek. kalau encik2 polis yang investigate tu tengok la history website yang aku visit. dan tengok rekod buku apa aku pinjam kat library. tapi banyak buku cintan cintun je tuan inspektor. saya tak bersalah langsung!

tapi sebenarnya, aku admit la. lepas baca buku2, or artikel2 kat internet pasal torture murder ni, jiwa aku kacau la. tak tau la sebab apa. tak tau la aku ada terbayang2 ke, terasa diri sendiri terkena torture tu ke. tapi hati aku jadi tak sedap la. somehow, aku rasa lega sebab, i think that's how a normal person should feel like after she reads some ugly things like that.

picture perfect

you a 9gagger? you ever came across this post

"have you ever pictured a perfect movie scene in your head right before you go to sleep?"

well i have. and still am doing it. want to know what my movie scene is like? it is just one scene, and i'm going to tell you about it.

there is this one girl. she lives in america. she is an immigrant. so she is very poor. she gets a job at some madison square garden or something. doesn't really matter where, but that place must have a basketball court where the nba players are playing. ok. then she works as a janitor or something. something really low-key with a very bad paycheck. so she does her work everyday, watching the tournament, watching the players practise everyday. she really has this crush on one player. but she knows she is out of his league. so she just admires him from afar. 

all of the players takes little notice on her. after all, she's a janitor. so she makes friends with another janitor, an old black man. they are good friends. so then comes this day, which is her birthday. nobody knows when her birthday is. because nobody really cares. then one day this janitor caught her talking to herself in the locker room. he asks:

Janitor (J): what are you doing?

Girl (G): oh i'm just practising my speech.

J: for what?

G: today i want to ask Blake for his autograph.

J: after all this time, only now you want to ask for his autograph?

G: well, i want to make it my birthday present.

J: when's your birthday?

G: erm. today, actually (chuckles)

J: what? you never told me! happy birthday sweetheart.

G: thanks, Joe. (the janitor's name happens to be Joe, i just thought of it)

J: good luck with that.

G: yea i think i need that.

so that day's practice went harsh. all the players upset the coach, and they get scolded very bad. but the girl doesn't know that. it happens that, that day is also a busy day for her. with all the speech-practising and stuff. so that girl waits for every player to leave the room. she knows that Blake always gets out last, so that is the perfect chance for her to ask for his autograph.

the clock shows 3 minutes past 6. the girl waits restlessly just outside the locker room. then she sees the locker room goes dark. Blake has turned off the lights, she guesses. suddenly, she feels like her body is being blown by a large force. she is panicked, for a short time, when she realizes that Blake has bumped into her on his way out of the locker room. she doesn't realize that she stands too near the door.

Blake (B): what the fuck? 

he looks at her with this annoyed face. the girl is stunned. she doesn't know what to do. she looks down and sees all of Blake's stuff is strewn all over the place. both of them lower their bodies to pick the stuff. their heads bang.

B: ouch!

G: oh my god. i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. i didn't mean to..

B: it's fine.

there is not a hint of smile on his face. she is so nervous, no one in this world has ever been this nervous before. she just stands there watching him collect his things. her hands sweat, her heart is pumping like it wants to get out of her chest. she clutches her hands. then she realizes that she is holding a piece of paper in her right hand and a pen in the other. she looks at the piece of paper. it is crumpled a bit, because of her excessive clutching and sweating. she can see that her hands tremble a little. please don't panic, please don't panic, she recites.

G: um. i, i... um. if you don't mind, um... can you give.. um.. can you please, give.. um, i.. don't know how to say this..

B: WHAT?!!

the girl is struck. she freezes at that very moment. seeing how his face is red with anger and impatience. how she has made him very, very mad at her stupid stuttering. with a long pause, she manages a fake smile, lowers her head, and says,

G: nothing. i'm just sorry.

B: fuckin wasting my time.

he mumbles. but the girl heard it. how those words strike right through her heart. she feels very unimportant in this world. how tiny she is in front of him. she is just a janitor, after all. nobody should talk to the janitor. it's a waste of time. it's a waste of everybody's time. 

G: well, no birthday present for me this year.

she mumbles. she tries to smile, to fight back the tears in her eyes. she never had a birthday present in her life, ever. she feels very lonely. what she doesn't know is, that Joe is watching the whole thing.

sekian terima kasih. 

sepetang bersama kasut adidas

hari ini merupakan salah satu hari paling bersejarah dalam hidup aku. aku telah pergi jogging dengan memakai kasut adidas pink baru aku!

aku sangat gembira! kurasakan bagaikan berlari di atas awan-awan kecil. ok takpe. tak payah nak awan sangat. ini semua placebo effect, you know? you got new shoes, you think you're fabulous. you feel like your feet are super light, you can run as fast as the road runner. you start comparing your shoes with other people's 'meh' shoes. hahahahahaha. what, i'm a douche? ok i'll take that.

disebabkan oleh placebo effect tersebut, aku rase macam aku ni atlet negara gitu. beriye bawak jam konon nak timing. start2 pun dah laju. bila dah laju, mestila cepat penat, kan? tapi tak. sepatutnya, di kawasan tasik tersebut lah bermulanya perasaan penat aku datang melanda. tapi disebabkan i got a fabulous shoes and everybody was watching, so i don't feel that tired. i ran and ran and ran. 

peh semat gile kasut aku.

ok sebenarnya aku sangatlah penat. tapi kalau aku start jalan, aku dah tak boleh lari balik dah. that's impossible! so disebabkan aku ni atlet negara kononnya, aku pun tabahkan hati maintain my pace. slow kan sikiiiit je. oleh sebab tak nak fikirkan pasal penat, aku mestilah cari benda lain nak fikir. what else to think about? other than the other people at the lake itself?

ok so aku lari la belakang couple ni. lelakinya aku tak nampak sangat, sebab tumpuan aku betul2 lah dekat perempuan tu. dia pakai all pink! dengan bawak plastik bag kaler pink lagi.

time tu aku terfikir, "hai, nak pinjam kasut i tak? cukupkan pakej."

lepas tu, lari2, aku nampak banyak pulak photoshoot orang pakai baju kawin. ingatkan satu couple model je. tapi ade la 3-4 couple buat photoshoot. lain-lain tempat. aku terfikir, ni semua dalam same company ke? eh kalau aku lari belakang diorang kang free2 aku dan kasut baru aku masuk majalah Wanita ke, Keluarga ke. hewhewhew.

lepas tu aku dah habis lari. stop la depan satu couple tengah photoshoot ni. perempuannye aku tak nampak sangat. sibuk sangat dengan bunga2, tudung nak berjuntai2 kat tepi. aku nampak la lelaki tu. "eh. tak hensem pun? ok maybe tu bukan model. maybe tu orang yang betul2 nak kawin! tu sebab dia tak hensem." hewhewhew jahatnye aku.

then, ternampak pulak ade orang jogging. pakai baju ape tau? baju ni.

serta-merta, hatiku memberontak: "omg, eww. takde bende lain ke kau nak love."

lepas tu, time aku nak cooling down lah kononnye, aku ternampak la satu keluarga ni. tak lah keluarga sangat, sebab ada bapak dan anak-anak kecilnya sahaja. anak ada 2. sorang perempuan sorang lelaki. diorang jalan-jalan. tiba-tiba, si anak lelaki jatuh terjelepuk. face first. aku terkejut. tapi tak lah terkejut sangat. bapaknya kata, "alahai asyik jatuh je la."

bahahahahahahah. ade ke patut. bukan nak tolong anak die. tapi die tengok anak die dulu, baru dia pergi dekat, tolong budak tu bangun. jauh di dalam hati aku, aku nak tengok budak tu menangis. tapi tak. budak tu tak menangis pun. lepas tu aku pun memerhatikan keluarga tersebut.

sorang pun takde rupe bapaknye. kenapa ye? mungkin kah

yes. that makes a lot of sense.

lepas tu aku pun jalan la balik kolej. dalam perjalanan, aku ternampak la ada satu banner ni. 

SELAMAT DATANG KEPADA PELAJAR PERUBATAN TAHUN 3 KE HUKM. IKHLAS DARIPADA SIAPA-SIAPA.

time tu aku pun terfikir, "alah kalau kau betul-betul ikhlas,.."

tiba-tiba aku terstop dari berfikir. kenapa aku sangat negatif ni? since lari kat tasik lagi. semua benda negatif ada dalam otak aku. semua benda aku nak komen negatif. kasut dah positif dah. kenapa benda lain jadi negatif ni? so aku pun nak stop berfikir. dan dalam hati, aku meminta maaf kepada semua orang yang aku dah kutuk dalam hati. ish2.

lari se round je. kutuk berbakul2.

housemate

apa dah jadi dgn blog ni? lama dah tak update lain pulak rupanya.

dengarlah cerita aku ini. rumah aku ni ada 2 orang baru masuk. 3rd year. sorang tu ok. sorang lagi sombong gilaaaaa. aku ni tak lah seniority sangat kan. tapi entah kenapa aku bengang sangat dgn budak sombong ni. tak pernahnya nak tegur aku. ok fine. i made a decision to ignore her. tapi tak boleh jugak. tiap kali terserempak dgn dia dan muka sombong dia, meluap2 hati aku ni. rasa nak terjah / cekik je budak ni. tetapi,

pada suatu malam, aku tertidur tatkala membaca satu buku novel yang teramat bosan. aku set alarm lagi 20 minit so that aku tak la terbongkang sampai ke pagi dgn lampu terbukak. tapi, as usual, aku snooze sampai sejam lebih nak dekat 2 jam. tiba-tiba ada beberapa ketukan di pintu aku. aku sangat terkejut! yelah, aku kalau orang kejut tidur kuat2 ni memang cepat melatah la kononnya. 

rupa2nya, 2 orang budak baru 3rd year tadi yang mengetuk dgn kuatnya pintu bilik aku. dgn mamainya, budak A (tak sombong) cakap, 

"hai kak farah. eh dah tido ke?"

"eh tak la." ok aku tipu harharhar.

"ha ni la budak B (sombong). mari berkenalan dgn rasminya."

budak tu pun hulurkan tangan dan senyuman yg mungkin bagi dia agak manis. tapi bagi aku, er. wtv lah. hoi dah seminggu dok sini baru ko nak berkenalan?!

"hai." kataku. aku ni pandai la buat poker face. mulut manis dalam hati caci maki.

"err kak farah ke yang kemas toilet pagi tadi? sbb nampak bersih gila."

oh stop it, you. harharhar. sebenarnya for a full 1 minute aku tak paham ape bende budak2 ni cakap. tahap kemamaian aku agak melampau kalau terkejut2 bangun tidur ni. haah laa. pagi tadi lah aku menyental2 sinki tu. dan buang segala toiletries yang senior dulu sedap2 je nak tinggalkan.

"yang atas peti ais ni pun kak farah jugak ke yang kemaskan?"

oh yes! aku! semua aku! aku lah yg paling pembersih di muka bumi ini. 

"yang tepi2 ni pun boleh buang ke?"

oh baru aku perasan. tepi peti ais tu banyak lagi laa bro. dgn kotak2 nye. megi2 nye. ok lah aku ni takde lah pembersih sgt, fine.

"ha nak kemas boleh jugak. takde sape punye ni." kataku.

"oh ok. yang toilet tu, kitorg nak kemas dulu, tapi takut ada orang punya la pulak kan. so xkemas la." kata mereka.

"oh ok ok. aku kemas yang kat atas tu je. lantai belum lagi. aku igt nak basuh lantai lain kali la. nak suruh korang, kang korang cakap aku buli korang pulak kan." kataku.

"eh takde lahh. boleh je nak kemas. tapi bukan harini la herherher."

"er, herherher jugak." time ni kemamaian semakin pudar. budak2 ni konon nak mesra2 alam lah gelak2 dgn aku. tapi aku masih terasa awkward hahah.


ok lah. so pangkal pokoknya di sini, kesabaran aku berbaloi. daripada aku marah si budak B ni sebab menyombong dengan aku, baik lah aku diam aje. tengok sekarang, dia dah tegur. 

angin

FB ni katenye brape haribulan haritu semua tukar jadi timeline. tak tukar pun? bagus lah, aku pun xsuka. mengarut-ngarut je timeline tu.

tiap-tiap kali pun pasal FB kan. xpelah. tu je yang menarik. here are some MORE kritikan aku terhadap FB users.

untuk orang-orang yang selalu sgt nak bagitau setiap perkara yg die buat termasuklah taik die kaler ape hari ni. benda-benda yang baik nak post. yang kesian nak post. yang happy nak post. yang dah baik dari gaduh nak post. ok you got the point kan. eh blum lagi. belum sampai point lagi. benda baik dulu.

haritu malam jumaat dia ada bagitau satu dunia, dia smyg maghrib jemaah. lepas tu baca yassin ramai-ramai. hmm bagusnya.

tapi,

malam jumaat yang lain tak post pulak dia solat maghrib jemaah n baca yassin.

eh, tak solat ke? tak baca yassin ke?

haha ok. itu sgt prejudis. dan sangat menyibuk jaga tepi kain orang. tp begitulah pemikiran seorang yg bengong negatif macam aku ni. sebab dia dah selalu sgt nak bagitau orang kan, so kalau dia tak bagitau, dia tak buat la? gitu?

nampaknye pasal FB harini ada satu tu je lah yg aku tak puas hati.

pasal awal ashaari propose besar-besaran dekat scha. aku dah agak daaaa mesti ada la manusia nak cakap, 

eh tak tau adat melayu ke? ingat ni negara omputeh? nak propose-propose bagi cincin teddy bear menatang-menatang tu?

aku dah agak daaa. orang malaysia ni. semua benda nak kecoh. kepoh. macam la kau ikut adat sangat. amboi adat kawin beriye. adat lain-lain ko da pro sangat ke? aku bukan la big fan awal and scha tu pun. xtengok pon proposal yg digembar-gemburkan tersebut. saje nak emo-emo kat sini.

aku makan banyak perot angin la. aku tak makan pun perot angin jugak. mcmana nak kurus?

mood at home

bitchy mood is baaaack.

siapa yang suka meluahkan perasaan kat facebook tu? i don't like.

siapa yg suka duckface tu? i don't like either.

hell, i don't even like ducks.

sorry, duck.

siapa yang buat status 

" saya sangat comel dan hot " 

sebab account dia kena hack ngan kawan dia, dia akan dapat SANGAT banyak 'like'. lagi-lagi kalau memang pun dia comel dan hot.

siapa yang buat status 

" last comment wins! nanti aku bagi hadiah " 

tapi sebab dia ni memang tak hensem, ada 4 comments je. 2 comments tu pun dia sendiri punya. huahuahuahuahau. kesian.

siapa yang marah ada jerawat tumbuh kat hidung dia, tapi ambik gamba sengih2, post kat facebook, tunjuk jerawat yang kat hidung dia tu. i don't like.

me, a grammar nazi.

siapa yang baru meninggalkan sekolah menengah dalam 2 tahun, patut ada semangat sekolah lagi. siapa yang dah meninggalkan sekolah menengah dalam 3-9 tahun, tak payah nak ada semangat sekolah lagi. kalau result PMR or SPM ex-sekolah kita tu lagi bagus dari sekolah orang lain, tak payah nak hebah2 kat fb, tunjuk senarai top 10 lah top 50 lah. dah habis tu habis je lah. orang yang ambik result pun cool kau pulak lebih-lebih. bila dah lebih dari 10 tahun meninggalkan sekolah, baru boleh ada semangat sekolah balik okay. tapi still tak payah nak  buruk- burukkan sekolah orang lain. oh mulie nye saye.

mak aku tak suke yuna. katenye selekeh.

siapa sangka duduk rumah makan sikit dan kadang-kadang banyak boleh gemuk. 

i'm bored yaw

Alhamdulillah, i passed my exam. i love to be home for 2 months. but it's only been a week, and i'm bored. shoot me. i didn't mean to take things for granted, because i know some of my friends would say,

"at least u got the whole 2 months at home, doing whatever u wanna do. we here need to reseat for the exam."

yes. yes i know! but i'm still bored.

i could learn how to cook. i could learn a new language. i could learn to play simple songs with the keyboard. i could do many things! 

so what's the problem? 

i'm not doing those things.

then start doing it!

i don't know why i don't start.

why?

i just said i don't know.

is it because you don't WANT to?

i don't know.

is it because you CANNOT?

i don't know! shut up. was that inner me, questioning my thoughts? scary. and was that me, talking back? scarier.


all i do everyday is:

morning: watch NBA.

noon: eat lunch.

afternoon: nap. looooong nap until i have frontal headache upon waking up.

evening: TV and 9gag.

night: TV and some books i can only last for 15mins reading then sleep.

you know how useless i feel? yes. i know. how. useless. i. feel.


what a boring post. i'll be ashamed if i read it again.

lefty? righty?

i'm a lefty. no. i'm a righty. no.

once, when i was a kid, i told an adult, "i have identity crisis. i don't know whether i'm a lefty or a righty." and she was like,

do i look like i care?

ok true. i do certain stuff with my left hand, and other certain stuffs with my right. i thought i was the ONLY ONE IN THE WOOOORLLD.


of course not. 

dulu, i enjoyed reading about the history of left-handedness, comparisons between lefties and righties. all the difficulties faced by the lefties, living in this right-handed world.


tapi, sekarang, i rasa most arguments diorang tu tak boleh pakai la. mari i cakap yang i rasa boleh pakai.


1. gunting.


ok ini memang lah susah untuk lefties. cuba korang-korang yang guna tangan kanan ni, luangkan masa sejenak untuk try gunting kertas guna tangan kiri. jangan lah tengok kesusahan nak pegang tu. tengok, blade gunting tu. dia dah terbalik woh. tapi i guna gunting tangan kanan je huhu.

cantik ye gunting ni? warna warni.

tapi sekarang boleh je cari left-handed scissors. no problemo. problem nye ialah tak tau mana nak cari. miahaha.




2. tulis guna pen basah, or pensel, nanti tangan kotor, or kertas kotor.


ini pun betul jugak. dulu kat sekolah i perasan lah kan. balik rumah je, i nampak tangan kiri i kotor gila. tak lah kotor gila, kotor sikit je la huhuh. macam-macam kesan ada. kesan liquid paper, pen, pensel. so kami ni kena la ada "style" sendiri nak tulis tu. sebab nak mengelakkan tangan terkena excessive kotoran.

pen menghala ke depan

tapi tak semua la left-handers yang tulis macam ni. yang mengada-ngada macam i je yg buat camni huhuhu.

3. pen yang kami pakai, tulisan-tulisan kat pen tu semua terbalik. 

susah nak baca. tak percaya?

tu yang tulis universiti kebangsaan malaysia tu terbalik kan. hmm.

senang je nak baca. tapi terbalik. terasa macam, "kenapa mesti terbalik? tak boleh print betol-betol ke?" ok ini tangan i huhu. nampak tu tengah buat nota ophthalmology. eh. bukan tengah buat blog ke.

4. kerusi yang ada meja sekali tu.

mostly untuk orang kanan. yang dekat bilik kuliah tu.

berikut ialah argument yang i tak boleh terima:

1. susah nak tulis dekat buku nota yang ada gelung tebal tepi tu

for lefties

kenapa i tak boleh terima argument ini? mari tengok gambar seterusnya.

for righties

kan? kan? kesimpulannya, notebook camni memang buat sakit hati je. regardless you're a lefty or a righty. tapi nampak cantik dan bergaya dan macam tahan lama je. so orang pun beli la.

2. kalau minum guna mug, lefties tak dapat tengok gambar yang rigties tengok.

(only if you're a righty)

(only if you're a righty, grandma)

sebenarnya i terfikir, yg you sibuk nak tengok apa mug tu tulis kenapa? just drink the f***ing coffee! but, tak semua mug macam tu. tengok mug i.

for righties

i got the real cat's face, bitchaaas. me gusta.

ada lah lagi banyak arguments. 

pasal gitar (tak boleh komen sebab tak pandai main pun). dan lain-lain.